Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize