You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
