You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
