I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
