We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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