Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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