Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
