end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
