Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
