Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize