Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
