also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
