Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened. http://tfl.nu/9qga
  Replies (16) Good night (1222) Bad night (4716)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv
  Replies (14) Good night (1844) Bad night (4512)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c
  Replies (10) Good night (5036) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5978) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me http://tfl.nu/p9kn
  Replies (21) Good night (3760) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (2049) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It would be one hovered percent delicioui

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It would be one hovered percent delicioui http://tfl.nu/wb9b
  Replies (6) Good night (1802) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop http://tfl.nu/g9k9
  Replies (6) Good night (2029) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3
  Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright. http://tfl.nu/yk6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1229) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects. http://tfl.nu/fv1m
  Replies (1) Good night (1430) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me. http://tfl.nu/p2gh
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs. http://tfl.nu/plpw
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary? http://tfl.nu/5nbk
  Replies (4) Good night (285) Bad night (200)

Randomize