Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm in love with you.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  huh?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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  (860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v
  Replies (14) Good night (3151) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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  (305): She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/c54w
  Replies (57) Good night (816) Bad night (5416)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.

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  (720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life. http://tfl.nu/paqh
  Replies (71) Good night (26163) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back

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  (+44): I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back http://tfl.nu/kyt1
  Replies (181) Good night (21592) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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  (44): Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash? http://tfl.nu/dolq
  Replies (34) Good night (3958) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.

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  (701): For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza. http://tfl.nu/ui1g
  Replies (15) Good night (5061) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

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  (+33): Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee http://tfl.nu/uze3
  Replies (23) Good night (1024) Bad night (4360)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.

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  (860): I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday. http://tfl.nu/lawx
  Replies (14) Good night (3056) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.

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  (313): Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup. http://tfl.nu/5rlq
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (2647)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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  (937): she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks. http://tfl.nu/kgtb
  Replies (12) Good night (2966) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

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  (917): I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins http://tfl.nu/1uxv
  Replies (6) Good night (1712) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

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  (504): I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex. http://tfl.nu/xk62
  Replies (7) Good night (1665) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

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  (417): So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye? http://tfl.nu/90tu
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.

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  (206): That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days. http://tfl.nu/co8c
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?

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  (630): Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids? http://tfl.nu/4q99
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (211)

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