Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

  (831): View more from California

  Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC (831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown. http://tfl.nu/up2g
  Replies (43) Good night (10095) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Whats the glycemic index on semen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Whats the glycemic index on semen? http://tfl.nu/dx5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2706) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows. http://tfl.nu/ltb0
  Replies (17) Good night (3180) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight http://tfl.nu/2lmk
  Replies (23) Good night (4670) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab... http://tfl.nu/at31
  Replies (14) Good night (1163) Bad night (3205)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  she's gonna get diseases

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from... (1-778): she's gonna get diseases http://tfl.nu/ja7i
  Replies (7) Good night (1018) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth? http://tfl.nu/108c
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits. http://tfl.nu/8psa
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it. http://tfl.nu/ukah
  Replies (3) Good night (1443) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume) http://tfl.nu/nwkp
  Replies (6) Good night (1481) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life? http://tfl.nu/hhin
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn
  Replies (8) Good night (648) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers. http://tfl.nu/o7tu
  Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex. http://tfl.nu/7srs
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...? http://tfl.nu/1yog
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (254)

Randomize