I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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