Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
