its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
