fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
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