She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
