I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
