This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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