did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
