Kiss
Puke
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
