**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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