Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
