I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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