All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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