She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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