Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
