sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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