they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
