We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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