Acid is not a monday night drug
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize