Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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