Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize