bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
