i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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