I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
