Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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