found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sext me about skeletons
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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