I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
