I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
