I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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