This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
