it was like his penis was on wheels.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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