The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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