girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
