I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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