The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
