When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
