Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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