Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
