I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she peed on how many people?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
