I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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