No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
