Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
