Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
