I must be too annoying 4 u.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
