If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
