what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
