Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
