Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
