we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
