Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize