Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
