She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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