I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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