glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
