I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
