well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
