It's Friday. Sex?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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