Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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