what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
