I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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