I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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