Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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