Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
