PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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