Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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