did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we made out on top of his cat.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
